Oh-and-Wow | The Born Again Rundown

From the Commissioner's Desk

Fellas. There are 2 teams in this league without a win, and they belong to Levi and me. 0-3. Owen 3. Wow.

Owen Wilson, on behalf of the 0-3 club.

Here's what 0-3 has turned into around here: a playoff spot 7 times in 31 tries since 2005. Levi is 1 of the 7. He started 0-3 in 2017 and finished 3rd. This is his 6th 0-3 start, the most in league history, and his 2nd in a row. I've been here 3 times before and made the playoffs 0 times. The best I can say for mine: my 295 points are the 3rd-most an 0-3 team has ever had, and 382 have been scored on me, the most in the league. Sunday I set the best lineup in the league, 112 of a possible 113, and lost by 33. Tim will do that to you this year.

Now, the Bengals. Most of this league is from Cincinnati or lives here, so you know how our Sundays go. Since Thanksgiving night in Baltimore last year, Eric and the Bengals have not lost in the same week. That's 7 straight weeks where both of them played, his title run included. Week 1 the Bengals beat Tampa and Eric lost to Tim. Week 3 the Bengals lost on a late field goal in Pittsburgh and Eric beat Jeff by 55. Somebody explain that to me.

Joe Burrow and Eric side by side, with a Ja'Marr Chase quote: people game plan against Eric, not against Joe Burrow. — Eric, Joe Burrow, and a quote nobody can confirm.

Sunday at 1, the Bengals host Jacksonville, and Eric plays me. I start 3 Bengals. We'll see.

Week 3 Results

5 favorites won. The 6th cost everybody $2.

**Matt 128** over **Levi 99**Rivendell Rangers · Sam Darnold 43 · Sassy Balls · Brock Purdy 44
Matt's first win. Darnold 43 and Kittle 20, and Purdy's 44 on the other side wasn't enough. Levi is 0-3 with 87 points from his quarterback the last 2 weeks.

**Eric 129** over **Jeff 74**Phatty Daddy · Jordan Love 34 · Little Isaacs · Bryce Young 29
Bijan Robinson ran for 194 on Thursday night in Green Bay. Eric's 2 quarterbacks scored 65 between them, and only 1 of them was starting. Jeff's 74 was the low score, and Bryce Young was 29 of it, again.

**Don 85** over **Josiah 83**Vanilla Don · Josh Allen 28 · No Punt Intended · Jalen Hurts 20
The game of the week came down to 2 points. Josiah started Hurts for 20 and left Tyler Shough's 37 on the bench. Don left Rodgers' 36 and Mahomes' 27 on his and won anyway.

**Tim 145** over **Jalan 112**The inTIMinator · Jahmyr Gibbs 33 · Open On Sundays · Jared Goff 32
The high score, and the most points anybody has ever had through 3 weeks here. I set the best lineup in the league and lost by 33. So much for David and Goliath.

**David 106** over **Nathan 80**De'Coldest Toevadoit · Jaxon Smith-Njigba 25 · The Teletubbies · Derrick Henry 20
JSN went 10 for 128 and 2 scores for 25 points. Nathan's quarterback, Drake Maye, got benched late in a 35-6 loss.

**Bobby & Steve 142** over **Jason 91**The Aging Ballers · Joe Burrow 38 · Foxes Running In A Field · Matthew Stafford 40
39 over their projection, and it ended Jason's 4-game run against them. The Vikings defense scored 24. Dak had 33 on the bench, again.

Studs, Duds and Benches

Who showed up and who didn't.

Studs
Brock Purdy, 44 points.297 yards and 4 touchdowns, and he still hasn't been sacked this season. Levi lost anyway.
Sam Darnold, 43 points.A career-high 379 in his first game back from a glute injury. Matt's first win.
Matthew Stafford, 40 points.390 yards on 55 throws, then a pick in the end zone to end it. Jason lost by 51.
Joe Burrow, 38 points.3 touchdowns, no picks, and a strip-sack in the last minute in Pittsburgh.
Jahmyr Gibbs, 33 points.3 touchdowns, including the go-ahead catch with 2:22 left. He passed Billy Sims for 2nd in Lions history in rushing touchdowns.
Bijan Robinson, 32 points.194 yards on the ground Thursday night. Last week I asked if the Bijan boom era was over. Never mind.
Jaxon Smith-Njigba, 25 points.10 for 128 and 2 scores at Washington. David won by 26.
Vikings D/ST, 24 points.6 sacks, 2 picks, and an 86-yard punt return touchdown, the Vikings' first since 2016.
On the bench: 307 points of quarterback
Tyler Shough, 37 points.4 touchdowns, all to tight ends. Josiah started Hurts (20) and lost by 2. Start Shough and he wins by 15. That's 3 straight weeks of 36 or more on that bench. Josiah, he has "SHOUGH-ED" enough for you to finally start him.
Aaron Rodgers, 36 points.Folded like a Christmas card last week. This week, 3 touchdowns to beat the Bengals. Don started Allen (28) and won by 2. With Rodgers, by 10.
Kirk Cousins, 33 points.Mine. Free off the wire to replace Dart, and he has at least 3 touchdown passes in every Raiders game this year. I started Goff (32). Lost by 33 either way.
Dak Prescott, 33 points.3rd week in a row on the Ballers' bench. They won by 51. My $5 offer still stands.
Bo Nix, 31 points.On Eric's bench, and his 1-yard dive with 47 seconds left beat Jason's quarterback. Eric won by 55 without him.
Patrick Mahomes, 27 points.Also on Don's bench. Don's 2 backups outscored his starter by 35.
Duds
Drake Maye, 14 points.2 picks, a lost fumble and a benching in a 35-6 loss. His 7 turnovers are the most by a Patriot through 3 games in 30 years. Nathan's.
Justin Jefferson, 3 points.2 catches, then the ankle on the first drive. Also Nathan's.
Eagles D/ST, 0 points.The Bears put 27 on them Monday night with their backup quarterback. Eric's. He cut them at 3:30 this morning.
Jonathan Taylor, 6 points.Projected for 17. Also Eric's. Why can't they both stink in the same week? I hope that's this week.
Tetairoa McMillan, 1 point.Levi lost by 29, and 1 point or 10 points probably wouldn't have helped.

The Start Matters

How often a 3-week record has turned into a playoff spot in this league, 2005 to 2025.

Every team that started the season with each of these records since 2005, and how many of them made the playoffs that year. The names under each tile are this year's teams sitting on that record.

0-3

23%

made the playoffs
7 of 31

Jalan, Levi

1-2

35%

made the playoffs
33 of 93

Matt, Nathan, Jason, Jeff

2-1

63%

made the playoffs
59 of 93

Eric, David, Bobby & Steve, Josiah

3-0

84%

made the playoffs
26 of 31

Tim, Don

Don't call it a comeback... yet.

Three Things

The first win

Rivendell finally won one.

A week ago Matt had 206 points and an 0-2 record to show for them. Sunday he put up 128 and beat Levi by 29. Sam Darnold, back from the glute injury, threw 4 touchdowns, and George Kittle caught 2 of them, including the one that put San Francisco back up late. Trevor Lawrence had 26 on the bench, and for once that's a good problem. He's 1-2 with the 4th-most points in the league and a 19-14 all-play record, the best of anybody under .500. Not all who are 1-2 are lost.

Matt's face on a bearded man in a fur-collared cloak, hand raised, over the caption: one does not simply lose three in a row. — Matt, seen here explaining it to the council in Rivendell.

This week it's Don, the man he knocked out of the playoffs last December, 85-79. The board has it dead even.

Record 1-2Points 334, 4thAll-play 19-14

The record

422.

Nobody in this league has ever scored more through 3 weeks. The old high was Eric's 405 in 2020, and Eric won the title that year. The inTIMinator is 32-1 in all-play. Exactly 1 team has outscored him in any week this season, and it was Don's 130 in Week 2. Gibbs scored 3 touchdowns Sunday. Lamar threw 2 and then, in Rio, found Zay Flowers for 27 yards with 7 seconds left to set up the winning kick. Flowers was on Tim's bench. Tim also beat me by 33 and ended my 3-game run over him.

Next up: Jason, 19 back on the board.

Points 422, a league recordAll-play 32-1Head-to-head with Jason Tim leads 11-8

The old guys

The Aging Ballers are 2-1.

Last year Bobby and Steve won 2 games all season. They have 2 by the end of September. Sunday they put up 142, 39 over their projection, and ended Jason's 4-game run against them. Burrow threw 3 touchdowns and still lost in Pittsburgh. The Vikings defense added 24. Harold Fannin caught the winning touchdown in Cleveland against Jeff's Bryce Young. Dak had 33 on the bench for the 3rd straight week, and they didn't need him.

Next: Nathan and his Tubbies.

Record 2-1Week 3 142, 39 over projectionHead-to-head with Nathan Nathan leads 3-1

Weekly Superlatives

Ten of them, every week, counted all season.

High Score. Tim, 145
Tim's 2nd of the year.
Low Score. Jeff, 74
2 weeks running.
Closest Game. Don over Josiah by 2
The game of the week.
Biggest Blowout. Eric over Jeff by 55
Mr. Tryna 3peat is 2-1.
Should Have Started Him. Josiah sat Tyler Shough (37)
Behind Hurts (20), for the 3rd straight week, and this time it cost Josiah the game.
Luckiest Win. Don won with 85
It would have lost to 8 of the other 11 teams.
Toughest Loss. Jalan lost with 112
Mine. It beats 7 of the other 11 teams, and I drew the 145.
Waiver Pickup of the Week. Bryce Young, 29 for Jeff
Two weeks running.
Lineup of the Week. Jalan, 99% of the best lineup
Also mine. 112 of a possible 113, and I lost by 33.
Manager of the Week. Bobby & Steve. 142 points, and the only pick I missed.

Season count

Through Week 3.

Award	Season tally
High Score	Tim 2 · Don 1
Low Score	Jeff 2 · Jason 1
Closest Game	Don 1 · Eric 1 · Josiah 1
Biggest Blowout	Don 2 · Eric 1
Should Have Started Him	Eric 1 · Jalan 1 · Josiah 1
Luckiest Win	Josiah 2 · Don 1
Toughest Loss	Jalan 1 · Levi 1 · Matt 1
Waiver Pickup of the Week	Jeff 1 · Matt 1
Lineup of the Week	David 1 · Jalan 1 · Jason 1
Manager of the Week	Bobby & Steve 1 · Jason 1 · Nathan 1

Standings

Two 3-0s, two 0-3s, and 8 teams in the middle.

All-play is what your record would be if you played all 11 other teams every week. It is the fastest way to tell whose team plays well, and not just who had a good matchup. The first all-play column is this week alone. The second is the season so far.

Team	Record	PF	PA	All-play Wk 3	All-play Season
1. TimThe inTIMinator	3-0	422	279	11-0-0	32-1-0
2. DonVanilla Don	3-0	362	203	3-8-0	24-9-0
3. EricPhatty Daddy	2-1	335	326	9-2-0	21-12-0
4. DavidDe'Coldest Toevadoit	2-1	327	304	6-5-0	18-15-0
5. Bobby & SteveThe Aging Ballers	2-1	307	258	10-1-0	19-14-0
6. JosiahNo Punt Intended	2-1	267	248	2-9-0	11-22-0
7. MattRivendell Rangers	1-2	334	328	8-3-0	19-14-0
8. NathanThe Teletubbies	1-2	278	354	1-10-0	10-23-0
9. JasonFoxes Running In A Field	1-2	257	374	4-7-0	13-20-0
10. JeffLittle Isaacs	1-2	232	312	0-11-0	4-29-0
11. JalanOpen On Sundays	0-3	295	382	7-4-0	15-18-0
12. LeviSassy Balls	0-3	268	316	5-6-0	12-21-0

Commish Power Rankings

Complaints go in the group text.

1. Tim ▲1 The inTIMinator · 3-0 · 140.7 ppg · all-play 32-1422, a league record through 3 weeks. 32-1 in all-play.
2. Don ▼1 Vanilla Don · 3-0 · 120.7 ppg · all-play 24-93-0, but 85 points and a 2-point win this week. Rodgers and Mahomes combined for 63 on his bench.
3. Eric ▲1 Phatty Daddy · 2-1 · 111.7 ppg · all-play 21-122-1, won by 55. Bijan is back.
4. David ▼1 De'Coldest Toevadoit · 2-1 · 109.0 ppg · all-play 18-152-1, with Etienne and Hall both hurt.
5. Matt ▲2 Rivendell Rangers · 1-2 · 111.3 ppg · all-play 19-14First win, 4th in points, and the best all-play record of anybody under .500.
6. Bobby & Steve ▲2 The Aging Ballers · 2-1 · 102.3 ppg · all-play 19-142-1 and the 2nd-highest score of the week.
7. Jalan ▲2 Open On Sundays · 0-3 · 98.3 ppg · all-play 15-180-3 with the best lineup in the league last week. Wow.
8. Josiah ▼3 No Punt Intended · 2-1 · 89.0 ppg · all-play 11-222-1 with an 11-22 all-play record. The luck ran out by 2 points.
9. Nathan ▼3 The Teletubbies · 1-2 · 92.7 ppg · all-play 10-231-2, and 23 under projection Sunday, the worst in the league.
10. Jason • Foxes Running In A Field · 1-2 · 85.7 ppg · all-play 13-201-2 with $10 of FAAB left and A.J. Brown on IR.
11. Levi • Sassy Balls · 0-3 · 89.3 ppg · all-play 12-210-3. Achane is done for the year, Coleman is on IR, and the FAAB is gone.
12. Jeff • Little Isaacs · 1-2 · 77.3 ppg · all-play 4-291-2 with a 4-29 all-play record, the worst in the league.

You Paid How Much?!

One real bid this week, and it was Rivendell.

Waiver, $40: Braelon Allen, $40 — Breece Hall left Sunday's game in Detroit with a quad injury and is week to week, and Allen handled every backup touch after he went out. Matt hadn't spent a dollar all year. Now he's spent $40, the 3rd-biggest claim of the season, on the Jets' next man up. He plays the Bears on Sunday.

Waiver, $2: Malik Washington, $2, and 2 Dolphins backs, $0 — Miami's slot receiver led the team with 10 targets against Kansas City, 5 catches for 56. I bid $2. Then I picked up Jaylen Wright and Ollie Gordon for nothing. Gordon carried 17 times after Achane went down. Wright sat out Sunday hurt. That's what's left of the Dolphins' backfield, and somebody has to perform in this offense.

Free agent, $0: Jacoby Brissett, and the Cardinals kicker, $0 — Brissett threw for 280 and 3 total touchdowns in San Francisco and is Arizona's starter. Eric added him and Chad Ryland for nothing and cut the Eagles defense and Wil Lutz to do it. He already has Love and Nix. That's 3 quarterbacks. Don is going to want a word.

$330 in waiver money has moved so far this season, $42 of it this week. Levi has $0 left, Jason $10. Levi also picked up Darren Waller off the free-agent pile for Hockenson's spot: 5 catches for 51 in Cleveland, and the Panthers play the Lions on Sunday night.

Around the League

Four things that happened to somebody's roster.

MiamiDe'Von Achane tore his ACL on the opening drive
His knee gave out on the opening drive Sunday against Kansas City. Torn ACL, injured reserve on Monday, done for the year. Levi kept him at 1. Same week, Jonah Coleman, Levi's $35 waiver claim, went on injured reserve 3 days after Levi paid for him and can't come back before Week 7. Photo: NFL.com

Tampa BayBaker Mayfield dislocated his throwing thumb
Hit as he threw on 4th and 13 late against Minnesota, and the pass got picked. No fracture, no tendon tear, and Todd Bowles says a minimum of 3 weeks. An undrafted rookie, Jalon Daniels, starts. It ends Mayfield's run of 57 straight starts. Nathan's starter, Drake Maye, got benched the same afternoon. Photo: Buccaneers.com

Aaron Rodgers throws against the Bengals — PittsburghAaron Rodgers beat Joe Burrow
3 touchdowns from Rodgers, a 33-yard Boswell field goal with just over 2 minutes left, and a strip-sack of Burrow in the final minute. Pittsburgh got 10 points off Cincinnati special-teams mistakes. It cost the Bengals their first 3-0 start since 2015. Rodgers put 36 on Don's bench, Burrow 38 for the Ballers, and Tee Higgins 15 for me. The Christmas card is in the mail. Photo: Steelers.com

Jaxon Smith-Njigba — SeattleJSN is on a list with Jerry Rice
10 catches, 128 yards and 2 touchdowns at Washington. Only he and Jerry Rice (1989) have opened a season with 120 yards and a touchdown catch in each of the first 3 games. Seattle still lost, 33-31, after a late pick-six. And a correction from last week: we said Tyson Bagent would start for the Bears if Caleb Williams couldn't go. Case Keenum started, and the Bears beat the Eagles 27-7. Williams is 3 to 4 weeks away. Photo: Seahawks.com

The Injury Report

Everybody on a Born Again roster who got hurt, or got better, since last Wednesday.

Out for the year
De'Von Achane (Levi)Torn ACL on the opening drive Sunday. On injured reserve. Season over.
Out a while
Baker Mayfield (Nathan's bench)Dislocated the thumb on his throwing hand. At least 3 weeks.
Jonah Coleman (Levi)Ankle, on injured reserve. First eligible for Week 7.
Travis Etienne Jr. (David)Hamstring. Kellen Moore said he'll miss time. No timeline.
Breece Hall (David)Quad, week to week.
Caleb Williams (David's bench)Hamstring, 3 to 4 weeks. Case Keenum started Monday night and won.
Terrance Ferguson (Eric's $15 tight end)Ankle. McVay says probably out this week.
Colbie Young (Jeff)Hurt his knee on the Bengals' opening drive. Likely out this week.
Should play, or close
Josh Allen (Don)Took a shot to the knee and kept playing. Not viewed as a concern.
Justin Jefferson (Nathan)Ankle, clean MRI. Could play Sunday.
Mike Evans (Ballers)Ribs, day to day.
Jalen Coker (Jason)Minor quad strain. Questionable.
Puka Nacua (Jeff's bench)Missed 2 games. McVay: optimism he plays this week.
Jayden Daniels (Jeff's bench)Practicing in London. Mariota starts again.

Week 4

Eric, the Bengals and me. A playoff rematch. And Week 4 of 14.

Series: Regular-season series tied 13-13; playoffs Jeff 3-1. Last meeting: Jeff 92-61 (2025 Wk 1). Jeff has won 2 straight.
Watch: Levi lost Achane for the year and Coleman until at least Week 7. Nacua might be back for Jeff. Colbie Young probably isn't. 24 apart on the board.

My pick: Levi

Matt projected 104, Don projected 104, game of the week

Series: Don leads 9-7 in the regular season; playoffs Don 1-1. Last meeting: Matt 85-79 (2025 Wk 16, playoffs).
Watch: Matt knocked Don out of the playoffs last December, 85-79. Allen took a shot to the knee Sunday and kept playing. The board has these two dead even.

My pick: Don

Series: Eric leads 15-10 in the regular season; playoffs Jalan 2-0. Last meeting: Eric 120-83 (2025 Wk 3). Eric has won 5 straight.
Watch: The Bengals are at home against Jacksonville at 1, and the only weeks Eric loses are weeks the Bengals win. I start 3 Bengals. Eric starts the Jaguars' kicker. My whole team is on the block, as always.

My pick: Eric

David projected 88, Josiah projected 103

Series: Josiah leads 4-3 in the regular season; playoffs David 1-1. Last meeting: Josiah 133-113 (2025 Wk 8). Josiah has won 2 straight.
Watch: David's backfield: Etienne out, Hall week to week, Jeanty healthy. 15 apart on the board.

My pick: Josiah

Series: Tim leads 11-8 in the regular season; playoffs Jason 3-3. Last meeting: Tim 96-71 (2025 Wk 17, playoffs).
Watch: Jason won the last regular-season meeting, 86-79 last November. Stafford has 40 or more in 2 straight weeks. 19 apart on the board.

My pick: Tim

Bobby & Steve projected 111, Nathan projected 105

Series: Nathan leads 3-1 in the regular season; playoffs Nathan 1-0. Last meeting: Nathan 126-94 (2025 Wk 17, playoffs).
Watch: Nathan beat them 126-94 in the consolation ladder last December. His quarterbacks this week: Maye, benched Sunday, and Mayfield, out at least 3 weeks. Evans is day to day for the Ballers. 6 apart on the board.

My pick: Bobby

My Picks

Picks: Levi vs Jeff: Levi; Don vs Matt: Don; Eric vs Jalan: Eric; David vs Josiah: Josiah; Jason vs Tim: Tim; Bobby vs Nathan: Bobby

Levi. Somebody has to win this one, and Jeff's all-play record is 4-29.

Don. The board has it dead even. Don has 3 quarterbacks to Matt's 2, and he only needs 1.

Eric. He's won the last 5 against me, and I'm not delusional. But the Bengals are at home, Eric only loses in weeks they win, and I'll take any edge I can get. Eric.

Josiah. David's backfield is in the training room, and Josiah has won the last 2 between them.

Tim. His worst week this year is a 119. Jason's best is a 110.

The Ballers. Nathan's starting quarterback got benched and his backup dislocated a thumb in the same afternoon.

Ledger of Weekly Picks

I'm 5 and 1 on last week's picks.

Don over Josiahpicked Don · ✓ hit
Eric over Jeffpicked Eric · ✓ hit
Matt over Levipicked Matt · ✓ hit
Tim over Jalanpicked Tim · ✓ hit
David over Nathanpicked David · ✓ hit
Bobby & Steve over Jasonpicked Jason · ✗ miss

5 right, 1 wrong. Don, Eric, Matt, Tim and David all hit. The miss was Jason over the Ballers, and the Ballers won 142-91. I'm 10 and 8 on the year.

Congratulations if you made it this far.

The offer is still $2 in FAAB for everybody if I ever go 6 for 6 on my picks in a given week. 5 for 6 this week. Nobody's getting paid, and you can thank the Ballers.

Next Wednesday

Week 4 in full, the wire, the Week 5 slate, and the picks.